


Mimicry

by milieumarch



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Captain Cobra Swan, F/M, Kraken the Parrot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 13:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11715549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milieumarch/pseuds/milieumarch
Summary: Henry decides Hook needs a parrot for his pirate persona.  Unfortunately for Hook, the parrot likes to repeat things, especially in the presence of one Emma Swan.  Set in 3B.





	Mimicry

**Author's Note:**

> I borrowed this prompt from someone on Tumblr, to be completely honest.

“Uh, yeah, thanks,” Killian stammered, poking at his ‘gift’ with his hook.

Henry’s face broke out into a grin.  “You’re like a real pirate now.”

“Oi!  I _am_ a real pirate!”

“Not that good of a pirate when you don’t even have a ship.”

The leather-clad pirate huffed at that.  “I still have the hook and the spyglass and, oh yeah, the _centuries_ I spent generally pillaging and plundering.”  He paused.  “Listen, Henry.  Most pirates don’t—well—they don’t—”

“Don’t what, Killian?”

Killian scrubbed his hand over his face.  “They don’t have _parrots._   Not for pets anyway.  They sold them.  For gold.”

Henry dropped his gaze.  “Oh.  Okay.  I’ll take him back.”

Killian looked at the boy—Emma’s boy—and sighed internally, pasting on a smile.  “You will do no such thing!  We can’t possibly take—uh—er—Kraken back!  He’s my parrot now.”

“Kraken?”  Henry snorted.

“Yes, as in the sea monster.  Let sailors quiver in their very boots hearing his name!”

Henry reached out a hand to the newly-christened parrot, but the grey bird squawked and shuffled out of his reach.

“Lad, there is one issue.  I’m having to encroach on Granny’s hospitality for a homestead at the moment.  I don’t think she’d be thrilled at my new pet.”

“Oh, I already checked with her.  She said it’s fine, as long as you don’t make a mess.  And if he’s quiet.”

Killian scratched behind his ear.  “Well, I suppose if she’s amenable.  But, lad, parrots are quite a bit of work.  And with the Wicked Witch about and trying to find her, I’m going to require some help.  So what do you say?  Lend me a hand and Kraken will be _our_ parrot.”

“Okay!”  Henry lurched towards the man and wrapped his arms around his waist, jumping back faster than Killian could react.  “I have to go find David and Mary Margaret!  See you later, Killian!”  He sprinted away to find his grandparents.

Killian glanced at his new feathered friend.  “Well, Kraken, what do you say we head back to Granny’s?”  The parrot bobbed his head which Killian took as agreement.  “Anchors aweigh,” he muttered, thinking back on Henry’s “not a real pirate” assessment.

“Anchors aweigh!” Kraken mimicked.

_Bloody wonderful.  The parrot talks._

* * *

 

Some shrill sound echoed throughout his room at Granny’s.  He grumbled and searched for the source of the sound, his eyes alighting on a small object.  Of course it would be the talking phone Emma had made him get just a few days ago.  He picked up the blasted device and spent a couple seconds trying to flick it open before he was successful.

“Hello?” he shouted into the silver contraption.

“ _Hook, speak normally.  I can hear you just fine_.”  Emma.

A grin found its way to his face.  “How am I supposed to know how this works?  I speak here and you hear me wherever you are.  Feels like I should shout.”

He heard a groan from her end.  “ _Well, you shouldn’t._ ”

He grumbled a bit but then his voice lightened.  “Swan!  To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“ _Apparently you and my son have adopted a parrot.  And Henry is quite insistent that he absolutely must see this parrot as soon as possible or both he and the parrot will meet their untimely deaths, or something like that.”_

“Ah, I see.  You can reassure Henry that Kraken is just fine.”

“ _So there really is a parrot?”_

Killian chuckled.  “Aye.  Your boy seems to think that I’m not a ‘real pirate’ without one.”

_“Um, okay.  Well—if it’s all right—could I, I mean, could he—could he come by?  Just for a few hours or something?  I’m sure you’re busy and I get it, you’ve got plenty to do and you can’t just always be there to look after my son and his—your—parrot but maybe for a few minutes—”_

“Swan, he’s welcome to drop by.  Anything for you—your boy.”

“ _Uh, right, thanks, Hook.  He’ll be there in a bit.”_

“Will you be joining him?  Perhaps, while the boy spends time with his parrot, you and I could go down to Granny’s for a drink, maybe a shared meal?”

“ _Goodbye, Hook._ ”

He heard a click on the other end and assumed that signaled that she was no longer on the talking phone.

He groaned and muttered to his parrot, “If that woman weren’t so bloody gorgeous. . .”

* * *

Half an hour later, there was a knock on his door.  He opened it, and Henry rushed in.

“Hook!  How’s Kraken?  Are you feeding him?  Have you taught him any tricks?”

“He’s right over there, lad, ask him yourself.”

He heard a snort come from the doorway and saw Emma, red jacket in hand, looking at him with amusement in her eyes.  “Do you regularly talk to the parrot, Hook?”

“Nobody else has come to offer their _companionship_.”  He slid his tongue across his bottom lip as she rolled her eyes.  “Think anyone would be up for the job?”

“Try the dwarves.  You could be number eight.”

He arched an eyebrow.  “I was thinking more along the lines of a woman . . .”

“Gorgeous!” Kraken squawked.  “Bloody gorgeous!”

Emma burst into laughter while Henry’s face lit up in fascination and Killian wondered how long, if ever, it would take Swan to forgive him if he strangled her son’s parrot.

“He talks!” Henry gasped.

“Sounds like you need to stop hitting on yourself in front of the parrot, Hook,” Emma snickered.

Killian groaned while Kraken continued to squawk “Gorgeous!  Bloody gorgeous!”  Killian felt heat rising to his cheeks as he prayed to every sea deity he knew that the parrot wouldn’t let anything else he’d said slip.

“Is the fearsome Captain Hook _blushing_?  Because of a parrot?”

“You’re enjoying this far too much, Swan.”  He sent a half-hearted glare in her direction as he walked over to the lad and the bird.  “All right, shut your beak, Kraken.  We’ve got company.”

With a final muffled squeak of “Gorgeous”, the parrot stopped his tirade.  Henry reached his hand up towards Kraken and earned himself a nip.  Henry wrenched his hand back to his chest, and Emma scurried to his side.

“Kraken!  Manners!” Killian scolded before kneeling next to the boy.  “Lad, you all right?”

Henry finished his inspection of his finger and looked up at the pirate.  “Yeah, it doesn’t hurt.”  He then got a thoughtful look on his face and continued, “He’s kind of like you, Killian: he’s not very good at making friends.”

“Henry!”

Killian chuckled lightly.  “It’s fine, lass.  Pirates aren’t exactly known for being amicable.”

Emma nodded curtly at him with a small smile.  “Hey, Killian?  We’re going to have lunch at Granny’s.  You should come with us!”

“Oh, no, that’s all right, lad.  I wouldn’t dare interrupt your time with your mom.”

Emma frowned.  “You can join us.  I’m not paying for yours, though.”

“If it’s no trouble, then.  Every pirate’s got to eat, you know.”  Killian offered a conspiratorial smile to Henry.  “Perhaps it’ll help me learn to make friends.”

Henry grinned and started tugging on Emma’s sleeve as he made for the doorway.

Killian grabbed his jacket off the chair it was resting on and turned to Kraken.  “When I get back, you and I are going to have a talk about how to behave in front of a lady.”

“Anchors aweigh!” the parrot cawed after them, eliciting another set of giggles from Emma and Henry and a curse from the pirate.

* * *

 

“ _You’re the girl that I adore but still I live in hopes to see ole Swansea Town once more.  You’re the girl that I adore, so take me ropes and make me--”_ Killian entered his room at the B&B singing under his breath.

“Ahoy!” Kraken crowed at seeing his owner.

“Oh, finally figured that one out.”

“Swansea Town!  Swansea Town!” Kraken responded.

A corner of Killian’s mouth crooked upward.  “Aye.  ‘Tis a sea shanty from this land.  _Oh farewell to you, my Nancy, ten thousand times adieu.  I’m bound to cross the ocean, girl, once more to part from you.  Once more to part from you, fine girl.”_

He continued to sing to the parrot as he pulled out a navigational chart and began perusing it until he heard a knock on the door.  He leapt from the chair and pulled it open to reveal Emma Swan on the other side.

“Swan!”

“Swan!  Swan!” Kraken cawed.

“Hook.  And Kraken.”

“Don’t mind him.  Bloody pigeon.”

“Adore Swan!  Adore Swan!” the parrot shouted.  “Fine girl!”

“Kraken!” Killian hissed as Emma turned red.  “It was _Swansea Town,_ you fool.  If you’re going to mimic me, at least get it right.  And that’s not even the line.”  He turned back to Emma.  “I’m sorry.  I was singing a shanty, and this stupid bird can’t even get it right.”

“Sure you weren’t talking about me with your bird?” she teased, still a little flustered.

“Henry thinks that sea shanties will help my ‘pirate persona’.  Tell your lad it’s not a bloody persona, I am an _actual pirate_.”

“Pirates have ships,” Emma shot back.  He glared down at her.  “And they have better excuses for why their parrot is hitting on their—the town sheriff.”

“ _You’re the girl that I adore—”_ he began, catching her gaze when her green eyes jumped to meet his, “— _but still I live in hopes to see ole Swansea Town once more.  You’re the girl that I adore, so take me ropes and make me fast, in ole Swansea Town once more.  Oh!  Farewell to you, my_ Emma _—”_ Her breath hitched at the slight alteration _.  “—ten thousand times adieu.  I’m bound to cross the ocean, girl, once more to part from you.  Once more to part from you, fine girl!  You’re the girl that I adore but still I live in hopes to see ole Swansea Town once more.”_

His eyes stayed trained on hers for a few seconds after his voice stopped before she stepped back.

“I-I’ve got to get back to the st-station,” she stammered, making for the door.

“No, Swan, wait!”  He lunged towards her and caught her arm.  She turned, eyes wide, and he quickly released her.  “You obviously didn’t come here just to hear my singing voice.”  Her mouth opened and closed, expression still stunned, so he added, “What did you need, Swan?”

“Mary Margaret!” she yelled.  He stumbled backwards.  “Mary Margaret, she—uh—she thinks you’re not eating well.  I told her that was dumb, you’re three hundred years old, you know how to feed yourself.  But she wants you to come to dinner tonight.  And I told her I was going to Granny’s for lunch anyway so I’d stop by and invite you.”

“Oh.”  His hand made it halfway to his ear before he dropped it.  “Well, er, thank you.  I would like that.  I’d hate to leave a wanting woman in the lurch,” he added crudely, arching an eyebrow.

“She’s married.  And _pregnant_ ,” Emma scowled.

He chuckled.  “Perhaps she wasn’t the one I was talking about.”

A blush crept onto her cheeks again, and she turned back to the door.  “Yeah, good.  We eat around seven.”

She pulled the door closed behind her, and Killian grinned to himself.  “ _I’ll go no more a roving with thee fair maid. A roving, a roving, since roving’s been my ruin, I’ll go no more a roving—”_

* * *

 

“Hello, Swan.  You know how you eat an evening meal?  I also eat a meal at the same time.  Maybe we could eat near each other.  Bloody hell.”  Killian grimaced at himself.

“Swan, you, me, dinner?  No that’s nowhere close.”  He shook his head and started pacing.

“Emma, would you go out with me?”  One pass across the room.

“So, Swan, you know how you kissed me on a technicality with the whole ‘CPR’ thing when that witch tried to drown me?  Let’s try it for real some time.”  Another pass.

“You and I should date. . . Oh, absolutely not.”  And again.

“Ever been pillaging and plundering with an actual pirate, Emma?”  At this point, he would wear a track in the floor of the room in Granny’s before he got even close to suitable words to ask out Emma Swan.

“Emma Swan, I have adored you since you climbed a statue to knock out a giant with magic powder and wanted nothing more than your presence since you offered for me to be a part of something rather than being alone as I was.  I am struck with awe every day at your courage and beauty.  I know that I naught but a pirate and a scoundrel, but would you please do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner?”  He groaned and slumped his shoulders forward.

“I sound like a simpering idiot.”  He turned to Kraken who was bobbing on his perch.  “Why are the courting rituals of this place so bizarre?”

“Ahoy!” the parrot screeched back.

“Now I’m talking to the bloody parrot.  Brilliant.”

“Bloody parrot!  Bloody parrot!”

Killian laughed under his breath.  “Good, at least you’re self-aware.”

“Good parrot!  Good parrot!”

Killian rolled his eyes.  “I wouldn’t go that far.”  He stuck his hand into the cage and Kraken lurched forward to bite it.  “Hey!  I’ve only got one of those!”

The parrot bobbed up and down swiftly while squawking nonsense noises.

“You’re quite smug, you feathered rat.”  Killian pushed his hook against the cage so the metal on metal made a satisfying clanging noise.  “Of course, who am I to talk?  I used to be one of the most feared pirates on the seas.  I pillaged and plundered for over two hundred years.  And now what?  I’m back to feeling like a boy at the academy, all because of a pretty girl.”

“Pretty girl,” Kraken rasped.

“If you repeat that in front of her, I do not care how much her son likes you, I will rip every one of your feathers out and feed you to the cricket’s spotted dog.”  Kraken ruffled his feathers and seemed suitably admonished at that threat.  “Excellent.  Now unless you have _useful_ advice on how to woo one Emma Swan, you can shut it.”

The parrot glared ( _Can parrots glare?_ ) at Killian but went back to his deranged dance within his cage.  Killian went back to his only-slightly-less-deranged musing until there was a knock at his door.

He swung the door open to reveal Storybrooke’s very own Emma Swan on the other side.

“Swan!” he gasped.  Quickly recovering, he added, “Couldn’t stay away from me?”

Her green eyes widened as she took in the flustered-but-trying-valiantly-to-hide-it pirate.  “Uh, well, you know how my parents are, or at least used to be, royalty?  There’s some sort of big naming ceremony for announcing names and we’re having one for my—brother?  It’s not really a ceremony, just a party in the diner and I’m sure parties and town events aren’t really your thing but you were there when we had to save him from Zelena and I figured you might want to know his name or at least get some cake—”

“I’d love to go.”

She stopped her monologue and her mouth fell open.  “Really?”

He smirked.  “Of course.  Who am I to turn down an invitation from a _royal princess_?”

“I’m not a princess!” Emma snapped.

“Then the Savior, if you must.”

“I should’ve let you drown.”

Killian scoffed.  “How little I must mean to you.  But I can’t miss a chance for some good old Storybrooke pomp and circumstance, eh, Swan?”  She shoved his shoulder at his sarcastic smile and waggling eyebrows.

“I thought town spirit and parties wouldn’t really be your thing.”

“Why, Swan, I was a pirate for hundreds of years.  I snuck into my fair share of balls.  When is the event?”

She looked down at her boots as she lifted one foot to tap the toe against the floor.  “Now, actually.  Or we just started setting up.  Nobody will be there for at least half an hour.”

“Ah, yes.  Well, I suppose this will also be one of the last chances to see you and your boy.  Funny, the prince’s christening will moonlight as a going-away party.”

“Hook—”

“Ah, but you still haven’t told Their Royal Highnesses, have you?  Have you even told your boy?”

“Killian.”

“Emma.”

“I—”

Whatever Emma was about to say was interrupted by an ear-piercing shriek from the cage.  “ _GO OUT!_ ” Kraken screeched.  “Go out!  Swan, go out!”

“Oh, you infernal flying rat!” Killian yelled.  “Can’t you be quiet for ten bloody minutes?”

“Go out!” Kraken responded.  Emma erupted into laughter at this.  Killian lunged toward the parrot’s cage with his hook brandished threateningly and Kraken began flapping his wings madly.  “Swan, date!  Swan, date!  Date! Dinner!  Dinner!”

Emma’s laughs stopped abruptly as Killian used his hook to jangle the cage.  He glanced back to see her looking anxious and ready to bolt.

“Emma, I’m sorry about this miserable animal.  He just picks up anything said around him. . . And then mixes it all together in whatever order he pleases.  I have no bloody idea where he learns half of this rubbish.”

“Right, of course, yeah.  I should be getting back down—”

“Pretty girl,” Kraken rasped.  “Pretty Swan.”

Killian’s ears reddened as he realized that perhaps the bird mimicked a little too closely.

“You say he mixes up the words himself?”

Killian looked up to her less nervous and almost entertained expression.  “He is just a bird though.  He can only get so creative.”  His hand automatically jumped to scratch behind his ear.

A surprised expression took hold of her face, morphing into a thoughtful one.  She slowly rose onto her toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek.  “Your bird is cute, Killian.”

She pulled away and headed towards the stairs to the sound of Kraken squawking “Bloody gorgeous!”


End file.
